“In a world where you can be anything…be yourself”.
Going Off the Grid of the Grind
Last week I took a test drive of sorts. To be specific, I took a test drive with another part of myself. Have you ever gone off the “grid of the grind”? You know, the grind is doing the same thing over and over again. For example, driving the same route to work every day. The grid represents the framework of how you always do things.
The grid and the grind can go hand-in-hand. The grid is your map and the grind is your means of transportation. The “grid of the grind” can mean “thinking outside the box” or “getting out of one’s comfort zone”. This is what I am talking about. Sometimes we try to do things in a completely different way because the old way hasn’t been working. You know the definition of insanity, “is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results”, thank you Albert Einstein!
Other times we can do things differently and not realize it on a conscious level. That’s what happened to me recently. I laughed so much my mouth and the sides of my rib cage hurt. I tried new foods, met new friends and journeyed out of the five-mile radius of where I live, shop and thrive.
I found this new experience to be exciting! I felt happy! Not that I was unhappy before, but I felt a new sense of being. I re-experienced some of the feelings that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I haven’t been a teenager in a few many years, but I felt giddy. When I put myself “out there” I got in touch with new emotions as well as the ones I thought were of the past.
But (there is always a but!), after the week was done and dusted, the “uh oh” thinking came. Then, my insecure feelings started poking me, finally piercing my core beliefs. I had to review and re-examine not just the spoken words but my actions.
I didn’t do anything crazy last week…just saying! But I did take chances at getting out of my comfort zone. Overall, it was a good experience. I had new experiences within each new experience! I guess it goes to show that even at my age of 53 and all that I have done in my life, there is still more room for personal growth!
I found that I am still vulnerable. Emotions rose up that go hand-in-hand. I felt joy and disappointment. I felt energetic and exhausted. I felt excited about the future and at the same time, I felt a bit afraid of letting go of the past. I wondered what it would be like to have something great turn out in my life. It’s been a long time since I felt accepted and successful, and well, at the same time!
I wondered what it would like to feel new love or revive a former love flame that still burns, also to feel romantic love. And to really feel a deep connection with someone. I wondered what it would feel like to start a new job opportunity. One in which the hiring manager really knew that I was the best fit for the job and excited to bring me on board. I wondered what it would feel like to jump in my car to drive with the sunroof open, the tunes blaring and drive until I felt like stopping for the night. I wondered what it would feel like to receive a gift that was simply over the top. I wondered what it would be like to engage in all five senses at one! Or are there 6 senses now?! These new experiences captured my attention. I was given the insight on how to pave a new road and given a new map. Thus, I experienced a new way of being. I let go.
“Going off the grid of the grind” for a bit of time was exhilarating. Following the same path day in and day out prevents us from growing. God grants us a new day to live, love and experience joy. I know that I don’t walk this world alone, God is with me every step of the way. Sometimes I run ahead of Him, allowing me to run free. He knows that I will always return to hold His hand, guiding me to discover my individual path. All paths lead to Him, after all!
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. Psalms 25:9 (NIV Bible)