If I die before I wake
or is that before you wake?
I am so unsure of things
No worries – fear not!
I am sorry I made you sad,
and you continue to cry each new day.
It is I who has failed you
and the entire world at large.
I did not measure up!
I could not see through my fears.
Forgive me yes or forgive me not
I could not stop my tears-
but I am now dead and
cannot feel my pain any longer
nor do I scream out when no one hears.
and surely, I can’t feel your sorrow-
or pray out to my God, my dreams, my pleas
or surrender to Thee,
all my cries went unanswered,
but you need to know, I did not give up easily,
I had hope until the very end-
what was today and is now tomorrow. Or was it yesterday?
No matter. Today I gave up.
Never regret the moments lived.
The moments unlived-it is what is.
Please never question my devotion to you.
I love you this is true.
I just can’t live another day
knowing I can’t win-
but in Heaven, you will find me
alive without sin.
Looking from afar, never doubt-
I will always love you
until all days come to an end.
Lastly, I just want to say,
I know this was extremely selfish of me…
…and I so can’t wait to see you again-
I weep as I write my last words to you.
I miss you too…
…I will love you until the very end.
For My Brother Charles (Chuckie) Molyneaux
1/25/2017 (RIP 03/07/2016)