A  Warrior’s Journey

A year ago, my cellular phone rang.

I know where I was standing when

he shared his devastating news.

The results were in; analyzed

more than twice by the pros.

No time to stall or rush,

time just froze.

I could hear the disbelief,

when he hoarsely spoke,

“A rare cancer, “ACC”, was the diagnosis”.

In a room full of strangers, was I,

when my throat closed and knees buckled,

shaking hands covered my face,

releasing the tears to cup, then fall.

collapsing into the arms of an angel,

a kind compassionate stranger held me,

until time resumed again.

A possible fearful life event that we all shun,

but hear I did, my beloved son was sick.

Compassion and grief saturated my heart,

traveling a thousand miles plus, through telephone wires,

to envelop and take hold of this young man,

whom I love more than words or deeds

will ever express; my love for him runs lake deep.

To trade places impossible, but if I could,

as I think, all Mothers would.

Please Lord, spare him more disappointment and pain

and a miraculous healing instead, I prayed.

This is his journey after all,

a future “neck breather”,

I prayed not, but regardless,

I will be by his side,

to comfort and stand tall

should he need to see or feel the devotion

from his Mother’s love-filled eyes.

Suited up in bravery, he fought,

witty humor still intact,

armored in positivity,

struggling through a year of uncertainty,

he blogged and shared his stepping stones.

Broken hearts now restored,

blood tests and scans reveal,

this Mother’s prayers have been answered,

today, my son, an “ACC Warrior”,

courageously kicked the “Big C’s” Ass!

 
Kimberly Molyneaux

For My Son, Jeremy Frederick, An ACC Warrior
10/26/2018

A Thought Away

Dear Son, 

I hope you are pleased to hear from me. 

God has many helpers to assist with tasks such as this. 

I am writing to let you know, 

I heard your thoughts of me today, 

and to let you know that I am doing well! 

What a reunion, your Mom and I have had! 

Loved ones too, welcomed me to the Magnificent Heavens. 

Young pups again, Sandy and Scout give a bark out to you! 

I know you miss me; I hear your prayers.

I am riding along beside you, holding your hand

when you drive by St. Anne’s,  

reminiscing of when I served at mass.

I know you miss my smile; the times we dined,  

my Veteran stories and most of all, my friendship. 

You are a strong and kind man and a loving dad. 

I see from here, the long hours you still continue to work, 

as well as the quality time you spend with family. 

I am so proud of you!

In case I didn’t let you know enough 

I love you, Son! 

Never forget, there is not a day that goes by that

I am not thinking of you!

I am just a thought away… 

Love, Dad 

 

For Jay 

Kimberly Molyneaux   

11/08/2017   

Heaven’s Promise

My illusions tell me

the world in which I lived,

completely fell apart.

 

Feeling so much fear-

my identity as I knew it-Gone!

 

I wondered how many levels of hell

I had to experience.

 

Finally, I now  listen to what my Soul tells me, that

Nothing unreal exists!!

 

Nothing is worth the stress or worth dying for!

 

Only love lives on,

like a field of  waving lilies

blooming, stretching

across the backdrop of heaven’s promise.

 

Kimberly Molyneaux

03/06/2018

In Your Last Words

This is a difficult day for me.

Three years ago I learned

You took your life in that bank parking lot.

 

…“Filled with tears of physical sadness,

yet eternal hope”

were the first words in your suicide letter.

 

The suffering you were feeling

is thoughtfully explained as is

your stated concern for us.

You question, “how will we go on without you”?

 

You justify that “death’s door is inevitable

from stress and the sheer thoughts

of failure and hopelessness”

in part from trying to” save” all of us.

 

As for me, I feel like I failed you.

I’ve stumbled through my days wondering

the “whys” and the “how could I have known” and

“the how did I miss the “signs”?

How could I have helped your fears?

Maybe I could have offered

a shoulder to cry on,

some words of cheer?

 

You wrote in your letter, you guessed that

when we would first heard the news,

“we would be shocked…

and devastated”…

You were correct as always.

 

I’ve searched my memory and

I now recall in so many words or less,

in your actions…your lack of actions,

you were indeed showing the tell-tale signs-

you had already quit this so called “game of life”.

 

“It was just a matter of time…

You played the hand you were dealt”, you scribed.

The obscurity to think…you could save us

from further strife

by sacrificing your precious life.

 

You typed that “you hated making

the ultimate decision”.

But you did.

 

You ask for our forgiveness.

Some days, I have, and other moments

Well, I am still reckoning with the loss.

 

What your actions taught me is

“love does not win”.

“hope does not overcome”.

You discuss “society’s greed

and your ultimate defeat”.

 

You let them win. But…

 

I believe you are now free

and were welcomed by dear ones

and mourn no more

of things of this ridiculous

illusion, our world.

 

With each passing of a new moon,

the emptiness of losing you doesn’t ease.

I long to hear your voice,

to see those blue twinkling eyes,

and oh, your smile and grin

and shenanigans you are creating

with that brilliant mind of yours.

 

But you are gone

and I must move on and

take ownership of my life.

 

With a heart so full of

forgiveness and of love today.

with belief, faith and

of God’s promise.

our souls will reunite.

Someday.

 

In your last words…

 

For My Brother Charles (Chuckie)

Kimberly Molyneaux

03/08/2019

Believing In Us

Don’t you know I stay

because I love you?

I have been holding on tight

trying not to crumble,

waiting for you to look into my eyes,

see that I am still praying for our dreams

that we once believed in.

What I would do to repair it

and spare one more tear!

Don’t you know I still love us?

We may be broken but I still have hope, that

my love for you is enough

to heal us back together.

Look into my eyes.

Tell me you see my life of devotion to you, to us,

Tell me you see that I still believe in our dreams.

The question is, “do you”?

 

Kimberly Molyneaux

03/11/2019

 

The above poem came out of “nowhere”. It just came.  I didn’t write it, it wrote to me. I just put I  down the words. I do know what it feels like to love someone and no longer be loved. It really hurts!  God knows I have stopped loving someone in my past just as someone stopped loving me. Lessons learned. If I am lucky to find love again or if love finds me, as well as passion and devotion, I will be sure to hold on to it!

 

Baby Cooper Sunshine

Just as your Mommy is to me

you are a burst of sunshine to my heart.

The apple didn’t fall far from the tree

when God gave us you.

You graced us with your birth

that Indian Summer day and

our lives have not been the same.

Your giggles and wiggles bring us

so much joy watching you grow.

Oh, so fast! Please slow down!

I want to hug you as long as possible

because every time I look into

your big baby blue eyes,

you tug at my heartstrings,

filling my soul with love,

bringing me a ray of sunshine

just as your Mommy did

before you came to be!

 

For Cooper Frederick

Kimberly Molyneaux

03/27/2019

Spring Holiday

With fondness, folks love to say, “sweet smell of tides”

when reminiscing of their time spent on the Jersey boardwalk.

They tell of how the waves billowed

then carried in the cool sand and water beneath their feet.

I too, recall our steaming hot Spring Holiday,

the waves, the salty breezes…

the seagulls, the sand dunes.

And, oh so much laughter,

when we lazily spent the day sipping spirits,

searching for the perfect seashells,

and holding on, oh, so tight into another night.

We recall the magnificent endless sunset,

holding hands and walking barefoot.

 

On that Spring holiday,

secrets and sacred kisses were shared,

and smiles as big as the waves,

rising up from the ocean floor, and

meeting the backdrops of the endless blue skies

keeps us longing for that special time again.

 

Yeah, folks like us, love to recall the “sweet smell of tides”.

 

Kimberly Molyneaux

03/09/2019

The Commute

The bus ride takes two hours.

It’s a long time. By car, it would

be a 20-minute commute at most.

But she does it with anticipation

to reach her destiny.

Up and down the beautiful landscape,

snowcaps can be seen high on the hilltops.

Departing the city bus walks up those hills.

Her feet ache, but no matter.

Every minute is worth every ouch

because she knows that when her Mom opens the door

they will smile and share hugs.

And she will be looking into

the most beautiful blue eyes

she has ever seen.

The commute was worth every minute

to share time with her beloved.

 

For My Mom

Kimberly Molyneaux

03/10/2019

 

Freshwater Cleansing

Freshwater fell

from gray clouds

rushing my mind

pushing my senses

back to a summer day

of long ago.

Oh, how sweet

the fragrance is today.

Storms of white hail

are replaced by still awe.

Age has rekindled

an appreciation

of simpler times,

Welcoming a spiritual cleansing

relishing in a drenching rain.

 

Kimberly Molyneaux

Today would have been my Dad’s (Robert E. Williams, Sr.) birthday. I would like to think of him spending his birthday fishing on a beautiful Spring day! A little rain never bummed a true fisherman like he was! LOL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD! I sure miss you! I love you!

This poem is in my book, Reaching for Brass Rings and it’s available on Amazon or B &N online! Thank you for your support.

Sweet Baby Zane

There goes my heartbeat racing off to see you again!

I’d climb every Colorado Mountain

just to be with you sweet baby boy.

I’d swim in any body of water,

from here to there

searching out a lighthouse

to bring me ashore.

No matter what it took,

every breath I breathed,

every hour, every day

to hear your infectious giggles,

see  your smile light up

 the rooms of my heart.

No distance is too far

to see those big blue eyes,

to hold you again,

to not to have to love you from afar

to kiss your dimples,

cradle you, oh so tight,

because that’s what Grannies do!

 

For Zane William

Kimberly Molyneaux

03/11/2019