Pain Body

Go ahead, sit in your pain.

Let the pain consume you from your head to your toes.

Let it flow until it consumes your entire being,

because it already has.

Your thoughts tell you to run from it all.

Just stop. Completely fall.

Let the tears continue to pour.

Let the hurt ooze throughout your veins.

Let every teardrop tell its own sad story.

These tears will set you free.

Not right now. Not today.

Maybe not for many tomorrows.

In time, your mind and broken heart,

will meet up with your soul to feel complete.

You will never move on, but you will move forward,

one agonizing second at a time. Breathe.

Just sit in your thoughts,

until there are no thoughts.

Just meet your pain body

right where you are. Right now.

Let the cleansing tears drench the floor.

Let your pain consume you from your head to your toes.

Because right now, in this moment,

this is what you are. Pain body.

Kimberly Molyneaux

Melancholy Memories

Melancholy Memories

 

I washed the dishes…

two bowls, two cups, two spoons…

carefully placing them on the drying mat.

James Taylor, Joni Mitchell, Carol King….

…. played from the radio

while you wiggled your body across the kitchen floor.

I took those moments for granted…

I always thought you would remain small.

Yesterday’s life was difficult,

now those days are forever gone.

Where the time went, I will never know,

…nor understand.

I thought as you and I grew older

life’s battles would ease up…a bit

…and they have…yet sometimes,

it just seems like, challenges change their names

but remain…and the stress is the same.

I was focused on us surviving,

one day into the next

to feed us, clothe us, to keep the lights on.

My love for you filled up not just a room

but from the earth to the moon.

Every struggle was worth it,

just to hold you in my arms.

I am quite sure you were hand- picked by God to be my son.

One of my biggest joys

was giving you a brand-new toy

and filling your life with pleasure,

like other little boys.

Now when we are together, sharing belly laughs

sharing hugs, solving life’s mysteries,

and sharing our love, near and far…

I am reminded, as I knew then,

we never really lacked anything, we

had everything we needed.

I never gave up…yeah, I was young

when you were brought into my life…but

I am assured, as I was then,

that when I held you in my arms,

…mesmerized by your blue eyes,

it was all meant to be.

So, “Let It Be” …. like when The Beatles’ song played

from my little FM radio…

while the dishes were drying,

and I tugged my little angel into bed.

 

For My Son, Joshua Smithmeyer

Kimberly Molyneaux

May 5, 2017