Grief

I know what Grief feels like.
It swallows up One’s soul,
zig-zags across the heart chambers
crushing and biting along Its path,
spitting every last bit of shattered dream that was choked,
throttled in the breath of air, in the fears, in the tears,
finally, to spring out on the other side of the soul,
that was full of debris and smoke.

Yes, Grief is a life-force,
all of Its own,
gripping us in a fall
that at the time seems so great, so forceful,
that we can’t rise up, to take hold,
to breathe again,
But we do.

Forever changing us, once It is on the other side
We know the fading dream can now never be.
Cry, weep those million and one tears.
We have all earned that right.
The light will shine again, My Friend.

The promise of a new day will bring closure.
So hold tight for tomorrow or
perhaps, another tomorrow,
to your suffering heart of
the passing dreams of yesterday.

New beginnings.
Joy, again will fill your soul
and your heart chambers so full.
No longer will despair grip nor tear,
for, at last, Grief will be put away.
Its purpose revealed.
It has cleansed you…
the healing of your wounds has begun,
soon, you will feel whole again.

Kimberly Molyneaux
3/1/2019

ToDaY

Jesus Holding Teen girl black and white

Oh Lord, I am not sure today

If I can get off the floor

I am so exhausted

I just can’t take more…

 

Fallen into this big mess

I can do nothing

But let my body rest

I am so sore…

I want these walls

To surround me

To hold me tight

Shelter me from loss.

 

The young child inside of me

Is reaching out to you, Lord

Please set her free

She begs to be redeemed.

 

Surrendering…searching for the “I Am That”

The child, the woman…in her heart knows

She is not losing to the world of illusions

She doesn’t need “saving” fast.

 

It may look dark now, but I remember,

I am as God created me, perfect

I am not flawed, I am strong, and yes,

I still have some false beliefs to release.

 

I know I am not alone

I am the child, I am the woman on the floor.

You are right here with me, holding my hand

Lord, that’s all I know for sure today.

 

09/19/2017

Melancholy Memories

Melancholy Memories

 

I washed the dishes…

two bowls, two cups, two spoons…

carefully placing them on the drying mat.

James Taylor, Joni Mitchell, Carol King….

…. played from the radio

while you wiggled your body across the kitchen floor.

I took those moments for granted…

I always thought you would remain small.

Yesterday’s life was difficult,

now those days are forever gone.

Where the time went, I will never know,

…nor understand.

I thought as you and I grew older

life’s battles would ease up…a bit

…and they have…yet sometimes,

it just seems like, challenges change their names

but remain…and the stress is the same.

I was focused on us surviving,

one day into the next

to feed us, clothe us, to keep the lights on.

My love for you filled up not just a room

but from the earth to the moon.

Every struggle was worth it,

just to hold you in my arms.

I am quite sure you were hand- picked by God to be my son.

One of my biggest joys

was giving you a brand-new toy

and filling your life with pleasure,

like other little boys.

Now when we are together, sharing belly laughs

sharing hugs, solving life’s mysteries,

and sharing our love, near and far…

I am reminded, as I knew then,

we never really lacked anything, we

had everything we needed.

I never gave up…yeah, I was young

when you were brought into my life…but

I am assured, as I was then,

that when I held you in my arms,

…mesmerized by your blue eyes,

it was all meant to be.

So, “Let It Be” …. like when The Beatles’ song played

from my little FM radio…

while the dishes were drying,

and I tugged my little angel into bed.

 

For My Son, Joshua Smithmeyer

Kimberly Molyneaux

May 5, 2017

It’s You, It’s Yours – Wedding Poem

It’s You, It’s Yours

 

As you begin your new life together,

see the seagulls fly-

high above our heads

so, may your dreams soar!

 

See how the water ripples

across the ocean,

so may your smiles and laughter continue

with a simple glance only the two of you understand!

 

Jeremy, you always hoped to find someone special

to share your life with, a true love to treasure.

God brought you together at Texas Tech-

We knew that a beautiful and smart girl

would fall in love with a handsome young man like you!

 

Caitlin, as a little girl, you dreamed of your soulmate,

the young man that God was preparing for you to marry one day

who knew you would meet him in the land of tumbleweeds and cowboys!

Alas, dreams do come true,

 The bond you two share, is way over the moon!

 

Family, friends and God are just an anchor away,

if vast winds and high tides

test your strength and patience,

but worry not

your solid knot will hold strong!

 

United, standing on Holy Ground,

we embrace this sacred space

hand in hand, soul to soul,

as you exchange your wedding vows.


The light from your hearts shines

bright for us all to share.

Husband and wife, it’s you

True love, it’s yours.

Sail on, sail on…Soul Mates,

May the celebration begin!

  

For Jeremy and Caitlin Deis

On Your Wedding Day

April 29, 2017

Kimberly Molyneaux

We Stand Together

We Stand Together

 

When I fall

you stand strong

lifting me tall.

When I am weak

it’s you, you are the one

who I seek out

for the answers,

I can’t seem to grasp.

I know you may wonder

but across your lips never utter,

as to why I am your birth mother.

All the emotions I have tried to bury

at times are strung along the walls.

Oh, you know my soul is strong

and full of amazing things,

but my path thus far

has been filled with painful scars.

Yet happy memories surface,

 living full and well,

as are the news ones created and shared each new day.

Beauty, is still what you see

when I am wearing my protective mask.

Like the saying says, “I love you to the moon and back”,

and I am quite sure,

in another lifetime shared,

Our paths have crisscrossed, a definite fact.

And I was the one who had your back,

who shared your laughter,

who held you through fears and moans

of life’s sticks and stones.

I stood by you.

You stood by me.

“It’s what you do”, you like to say.

We never really fail

We never really fall.

We have learned to smile.

We have expressed our sorrows,

shared the love we have never lacked.

As we continue to walk these earth school miles,

We stand tall.

We stand together.

Through it all. 

 

Kimberly Molyneaux
To My Son, Jacob William Deis
05/03/2017

September 28, 2016   Poetry Workshop/Book Signing

Reaching for Brass Rings, Poetry Workshop and Book Signing
Wednesday, September 28, 5:30 – 6:45 pm.

Facilitated by author Kimberly Molyneaux

Is there a poem inside of you, waiting to be put into words and onto paper? 

Join us with poet Kimberly Molyneaux for a condensed poetry workshop and book signing. 

Kimberly’s book, “Reaching for Brass Rings; A Poetry Memoir of One Woman’s Search for Healing, Spiritual Truth and Self-Love,” confirms our connection with one another by sharing our pain, our joy, and our healing through writing.

All events are held in the Unity Bookstore

2929 Unity Drive, Houston, TX 77057

713.782.8320

Pleases feel free to pass this information along to friends and family members who may be interested!

Sacred

I am grateful knowing that I take my next breath effortlessly…

To breathe is a sacred act. And yet, we take the simple act of breathing for granted. As I was pondering on what to write on the word, “sacred”, I was drawn into a peaceful state. I then let out a very loud and long sigh. It was then I realized that the beauty and the simple ease of breathing are in itself sacred. I have never smoked cigarettes, and I have no health issues. How grateful I am that I so carelessly and thoughtlessly breathe.

Not everyone is as fortunate as I am. Many people have to fight for their next breath. Many people are on life-saving breathing machines. Oh, how they dream of the day when they can breathe air, fresh or even stale air. To smell and breathe in the beauty of a new morning or a freshly prepared meal in themselves are gifts to be treasured.

Life is sacred. We can look around the very room that we are in, reading this and see all that is sacred to us on an individual basis. Most of us would say that their relationship with The Divine is sacred. We would say that our relationship with our partners, family, and friends are sacred. We would say time spent in nature is sacred.  And of course, we all love our pets!

God created all things, visible as our beloveds, as well as the invisible, such as our breathing. Today, let’s honor all the sacred things that we hold dear and love in prayer. Breathing is sacred. Deep breath!  Now smile!

“For in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible. Colossians 1:16

Father’s Day

Here are a few poems that I wrote about my fathers. I was lucky enough to have two! I miss them both everyday. These poems have been included on my other blog, http://www.reachingforbrassrings.wordpress and in my book, “Reaching for Brass Rings; A Poetry Memoir of One Woman’s Search for Healing, Spiritual Truth and Self-Love”.  Thank you for your support. I hope you find some comfort, peace and commonality in them. My book is available online through Amazon and Barnes & Nobles.  A portion of the proceeds is donated to help end the cycle of child abuse. More Love, Kimberly

 

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love him.”

1 Corinthians 2:9

 

Picture Frame

I press my nose hard on the picture frame.

I want you to come alive again,

with subtle smirk, you enter the front door,

placing your postal uniform

neatly on the wire hanger.

Your oldest grandson yells “Pa!”

in his small playful voice.

I love the way you glance over your shoulder,

teasing, pretending you haven’t heard him.

Your hands rub together to make warmth,

your presence is all it takes to melt my heart.

You stand with your knees buckled,

firm and strong, the way I always see you.

Ministering for The Lord,

you are a faithful servant.

You are a wonderful grandfather,

playing ball, fishing and teaching

the little ones about Jesus.

Thrilled, your grandsons hug your small frame

laughing and sharing rides on “John Deere”.

Steady as you mow, you are my foundation.

I hear you call out my nickname,

the only person allowed to do so,

I push away the picture frame!

For the moment, my room becomes still,

I feel your presence near.

Death may be ticking! Throw out the clocks!

Hurry! Never take time for granted!

These precious moments of time.

These keepsakes. These memories.

Are great gifts of the mind!

Split second memory photographs captured

recreating those good times,

so I won’t miss you so much.

When I no longer cling to this picture frame

my need to see you again

will have been satisfied.

Until that day, I am comforted

knowing you have seen God’s face.

For My Dad, Robert (Bob) E. Williams, Sr.

(1990)

 

Final Days

 Your body aches,

muffled moans

so no one will hear.

Pain intense,

holding back screams.

 

Days ago, we took time for granted,

now, limited days are visible.

I hear your trembling

voice on the telephone.

 

Days spent crying,

nights filled with prayers

for you to be healed.

 

As seasons change,

I prepare my heart

and search for strength

to comfort beloved grandchildren.

 

I do not know the feeling of dying,

but I know a part of me is dying with you.

When I let go of your cold hand

our hearts will remain intertwined.

 

An angel will call you home one day, and

you will meet The Lord in the clouds.

Someday, we will be reunited in heaven,

with the promise of no more tears or pain.

I will run to you, hug you,

and say, “Hi dad! I sure missed you!”

For My Dad, Robert (Bob) E. Williams, Sr. (1990)

 

Heaven’s Door

You needn’t be scared

and you needn’t hurry,

there’ll be plenty of time

on the other side.

 

We, in this lifetime

will miss you,

yet your life here

must come to a close.

 

You’ve led a good life,

but now live in pain,

and though we are so very sad,

you must answer the awaiting door.

 

I won’t be selfish and hold you back,

now that your journey has begun.

So, we say farewell and hold tight,

and know your spirit will remain.

 

When it’s my time to leave,

I know you will be there for me,

with so much love, and more,

holding open heaven’s door.

For My Dad, William (Bill) Molyneaux

(2005)

 

In My Father’s Memory

 

In his eyes I felt his joy,

in his hands I shared his strength.

In his music I sang his tunes,

in his soul lived Jesus Christ.

In my heart, these memories

warm my sadness on a blistering day.

All my life I will keep his memory alive.

We had bonded and grown to appreciate

each other’s differences, my father and I.

One day our souls will reunite,

no explanation of the past

will be necessary. Our love will be

clean and free at last

because God grants mercy and forgiveness

for all misunderstandings.

 

For My Dad, Robert (Bob) E. Williams, Sr.

(1991)

 

I am Not Alone

When I was thinking over the topic for today’s blog, I kept trying to go back to a time period of when things were tough for me. I wanted to write something like, “back when things were really tough for me, like about five years ago…”, however, the time frame wasn’t working for me. So I kept thinking to myself of when the “tough times were”, and it’s then that I realized that the “tough times” have been more than a few days, a few weeks or a few years and more like a few rough decades!

Which brings me to the topic on my mind today. My brother would call and check up on me to ask how things were going for me. I would always tell him that things were going “okay”. But he was smarter than that. He knew that I was single and struggling. I had one challenge after another. Between failed jobs, relationships, homelessness, health issues and a ton of other “challenges” that came up, I was always struggling. It’s been one thing after another, just to survive for the last two decades.

My brother would always say to me, ” Yes, you are alone, but you are not alone”. Depending on my mood at the time, I would do one of several things. I would agree or I would roll my eyes. Or sometimes I would say with true conviction, that things would get better soon. I didn’t want him worrying about me or my situation.

I loved my brother. He was a good man. He had a huge heart. He called to encourage me. He called to support me. He sent me money. He sent me presents. He did countless act of kindness. He truly loved me with all of his heart and soul.

I knew why he was calling and texting me. He wanted to reassure me, to let me know that in my darkest hours, that I was not alone. He wanted me to know that yes, I was “alone” as in I was single and I was trying to make it on my own in this big world.He wanted me to know that my kids, although they live out of the house now, that they loved me. He wanted me to know that although most of my family and support system lived out-of-town, that they loved me, too.  But what he was telling me without being specific in words, is that I was not “alone” because God is always with me.

I have been a student of The Course of Miracles and also a student of metaphysics for the last two decades. I have attended some type of church since I was a preschooler. I have been reading The Bible since I was seven years old. I believe there is a God, a Higher Power or a Divine Intelligence greater than myself. So, for my brother to constantly feel the need to let me know that I was not “alone”, caused me to feel a sort of emotional discomfort. But I shrugged off my discomfort because I knew that his concern was genuine. I knew he wanted to help me fight off my struggles but just couldn’t do it at the moment, but that he was praying for me.

Over the last few weeks, I kept hearing those same words in my mind. I really dug deep and prayed as to the reason why I am hearing those words throughout my day. What I finally felt Spirit was wanting me to know is that even though my brother has made his transition and is no longer calling or texting me, is that I am not alone.

I sense that my brother knows that I miss him so much. I figure he knows that I do feel alone right now. I miss those calls from him. I miss those texts from him. I miss his encouragement. When I published my first book, I so wanted to share my good news with him. He was always pushing me to live my dreams. He wanted me to pursue joy, happiness and love. He didn’t want me to be alone. He wanted me to be loved and would have done anything in his power for that to happen for me.

What I realized today…because I couldn’t get those words out of my mind again…”Yes, you are alone, but you aren’t alone”…is that he is still “here” with me in Spirit.  I know my brother is just a prayer away. He is just a thought away. And that he is stilling loving me and wanting the best for me. I know that I am not alone because I am one with the Father, the Divine.

Like my brother, I know my God is just a prayer away, a thought away. In fact, I know my God lives within me, as Jesus taught. The Spirit of God dwells within me. And even when my ego runs wild with negative thoughts of feeling separate from God, my Spirit knows this is untrue. I am one with the Father, and the Father is one with me. We are never alone. My brother taught me well. I may be alone, but I am never alone.

“The Father and I are one.” John 10:30